Imperfect..<3

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:49:56 GMT

I am really pissed off. =/
Even though i lost weight i still ate loads so i thought if i could get away with it yesterday why cant i get away with it today? and i've already gained. Seriously kill me. I need something extreme thats gonna make me wanna hate food forever and just never want it. I got told that theres something you can eat that tastes so horrible but its in everything you crave but you just dont know it. Its like the raw stuff (not sure what it is) and urmm whenever you eat something that has that in its pretty much all you can taste. So yuk, but i really want it!!
Lemme know if anyone finds out what it is please (:
Think Thin.x
<3

Fasting!!!

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 22:28:05 GMT

Woo! I've decided im going to fast for 10 days at least! (Unless i become very faint
Which i doubt.
I really hope i can do this but sometimes its like i have skitso i swear!
Because when i wake up im like yeah i want to lose weight i wont eat today and then when it gets to about 4pm im like a completely different person and for some reason i completely binge. Then wehn its like 8pm im back to my normal self again and feel crap about eating. Damn vicious circle.
I hate it. But that person who eats everything is going to be gone - forever.
I refuse to eat for the next 10 days. And if my parents ask why its because i feel sick and don't have the appetite (:
Should work for a while.
Wish me luck
<3
xx

Current Stats:

Age: 14
Height: 5 "1
CW: 119lbs (Yes i know - Fatty)
HW: 120lbs? idk
LW: About 112lbs
GW1: 105lbs
GW2: 95 (or something)
Final GW (i think) : 85lbs

CINEMA!!

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:58:21 GMT

Damn! Im going cinema tomorrow (well today because its like 3am) and im scared i might binge and i REALLY dont want to but i have bad self control when i go cinema!! And the stuffs so expensive!!
What do i do?!?!!
I cant only take enough money for the movie becuase i only have the £10 note my dad gave me and the movie is £5 and i cant ask anyone to change my note because they'll ask why :S:S
Any ideas??

Thanx
xox

Day One (Again)

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:39:32 GMT

Day One

Successful!!!!

Woo!

I've only had one apple today when i got home from school and i've been out since then and didnt take any money so i didnt even give myself the option to go buy something and binge :D

Im so happy!! :D

Working my way to thin just need to keep looking at thinspo or i might slip back into it again!

So overall an actual successful day! =]

Hows everyone else doing?

Hope its going great! =]

Stay Strong; Think Thin

xox

Damn

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:48:13 GMT

Damnit I binged and do you know why?
My stupid parents arguing pissed me off and i went for a walk and ended up buyin LOADS of chocolate!!!!!

I feel ridiculously sick! My stomach is actually hurting! ):

I think I need to change the way i'm looking at things, like instead of bingeing i'll just use this to my advantage as no one is paying any attention to me i should be able to get away with a lot more so my "fast" might finally last a while!

I actually think i might be sick i ate way too much and my stomach cant handle it. I feel sooo ill ):

I bet i gained like 10 pounds from this! I better not have! I promised myself that i would weigh 108 by friday and its wednesday tomorrow!

Because im not eating anything other than junk food i think my body is just storing the fat ;(

I just cant control myself these past few days! God, whats wrong with me.

I need shooting :( I hate my body so much and yet i do this!

Wtf :(

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:56:47 GMT

FKN CEREAL!

GOD DAMNIT!!!

I ate nearly THREE BOWLS OF CEREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF! I would pour it all away but then
people will know what i'm doing! I dno what to do im
so pissed off wid myself!

Ive gone up to 117!

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:30:35 GMT

Damnit! Does anyone else, when they ruin a fast or something with something bad decide that you'll start again the next day instead as you already ruined it and then binge for the rest of the day?? I just did it and i'm soo pissed off :(
Why did i have to have money with me when i went out! I should have left my purse =(

New Day!

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 11:18:27 GMT

So it's a new day today and my first whole day with scales because i bought them yesterday.
Now i can track my weight and make sure i am actually losing it.
I think I went up =[
My scales measure me by stone and im 8st3! Well thats what I was yesterday.
Its really bad i know and i WILL lose weight.
I wanna get down to about 6st or something.
I think thats like 85 pounds and then see how i go from there.
I hope this doesnt take too long and easter isnt too far away :S I dont usually like easter eggs anyway but if they're there.. god knows what might happen. I might just get money though.. im not sure.

Current Stats
CW: 116 ugh
GW: 85
HW: 120? (not sure)
LW: 105 (again, not sure)

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:47:11 GMT

Okay so this is a post to my own blog so its nothing about ana just something i want to get off my chest.
My bitch of a science teacher gave me a detention today! Yeah.. ME!
I was like wtf did i do?!! but apparently i was being so awful because i was talking.
Which is obviously a crime. It was for like 5 seconds - not even that!
She gave 3 other people detentions but they were messing about all lesson so they deserved it!
There is no way in effing hell i deserved that!
Biatch! I hate her and im serious im not even going to speak to her anymore. I used to like her but she can eff right off. Hmph!

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 17:21:46 GMT

I am really proud of myself (other than the incident with the chocolate milkshake)

In food technology today we had to make swiss rolls (in the over with the nice smell coming out)

and i totally resisted!! :D

AND My friend just got back from Italy and brought me this really big chocolate bar but I haven't eaten any of it and because its in a different language I can't know for certain whether its suitable for vegetarians so im not eating it + Im not going to look it up because if i find out it is I WILL eat it.

So overall an ok day

(except the chocolate milkshake incident)

xox

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 18:50:37 GMT

The damn cereal seduced me!
Okay it didnt i just got bored round the house as its a sunday and i hadnt eaten anything all day
I was doing soo well! ah man i feel like crap again!
Starting the new diet with south1st tomorrow woo!
2468 diet i think its called
Hopefully it'll work! :D
AND I have school tomorrow so i dont need to worry about unecessary snacking throughout the day becuase i dont lilke the canteen food so i dont take money and i dont take in a packed lunch so yay me :D
xox
<3

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:18:12 GMT

Dammit I binged last night
I couldnt help it
Even with that thinspo i put up yesterday!
I feel so yuck but i know today i'm not going to binge and i'm not going to eat.
I think i'm going to try the hot chocolate diet where you just have hot chocolate if you start to feel really hungry because it fills you up and you couldnt eat even if you tried. But i think you only put 1 tsp each of hot chocolate(or 2) and sugar or no sugar at all.
Its kinda confusing but i think it'll work.
What you think?

I wrote out all the messages on the thinspo pic and whenever my stomach gurgles i actually smile!
Its weird how it can make you feel 10 times better =D
xox
<3

Thinspo =]

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 23:43:54 GMT

Just Read =] Total Thinspo

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:29:34 GMT

Hi =]

Okay im new to this posting thing but I have no one else to talk/write to =[

I just worked out that i weigh 112 pounds!! I know some of you are probably thinking its not that bad but im 14!! 14!!

Thats definately not good! Im like a total fatty! I really need to do something about it =[

I think im gonna fast for the next few days and as i dont have weighing scales i go down my friends house sometimes and i know she has some so i can pretend to go to the bathroom or something.

I cant really excersise very well because i dont exactly go to the gym, im 14, i cant drive so that doesnt help.

We're on a break though now so im really determined to lose some weight before i go back to school!!
I guess i could walk down to my friends like everyday and then walk back up because i do live up a hill afterall.

Yeah =] so thats what i'll do. My dads kinda overprotective though and he might make me try and eat :S how do i get hijm off my case?? :S:S:S

Oh well i'll figure something out =]

Hope everyone else is doing better than me =]

xox